Showing posts with label Ashley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashley. Show all posts

Monday, April 8, 2013

It's Monday! What are You Reading

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Welcome to It’s Monday!  What Are You Reading!  This is a great way to plan out your reading week and see what others are currently reading as well… you never know where that next “must read” book will come from!

As part of this weekly meme, Shiela at Book Journey encourages others to visit participating memes, by offering a weekly contest for those who visit 10 or more of the Monday Meme participants and leave a comment telling her how many you visited.  **You do not have to have a blog to participate! You receive one entry for every 10 comments.  Just make sure to post on her blog and tell her how many in the comment area.
She offers a $5 Amazon gift card to the weeks winner.


This week I'm reading Kushiel's Dart (Phèdre's Trilogy #1) by Jacqueline Carey. I'm not very far into it yet, but it seems pretty interesting so far. It's nice to step away from PnR/UF from time to time. And this book feels very grown up which I don't always feel when reading PnR/UF or more traditional Fantasy, even when the book I'm reading is not Young Adult. Just prior to starting it, I finished Fire Study by Maria V. Snyder. It's a perfect example of what i'm talking about.  Overall it was a very enjoyable book, but despite violence, death, and sexual inuendo, the book just didn't seem very grown up.

I'm listening to KD as an audible title and i'm not really sure how I feel about the narrator yet. Anne Flosnik has a British accent which isn't a horrible thing but I'm not sure it's right for the setting.  More, she sounds a little too old and gentile for the PoV that is the focus, but as I said, I'm still early in the book.


I'm not making much progress, but i'm still working my way thru Destroy Me (Shatter Me 1.5) by Tahereh Mafi. Sadly, I'm not sure I've read ANY of it since my last blog post. I really need to get on it. I have Unravel Me (Shatter Me 2) waiting in the wings and I am very much looking forward to starting it, but prioritzing ACTUAL reading is really very difficult.  The book is a novella tho, so I could probably read what's left of it in an evening if I would just set aside a night to do it.



Finally, Jessa and I are still skype reading Outlander (Outlander 1) by Diana Gabaldon.  Unlike Destroy Me, we are making pretty good progress with it. It's a huge book tho so it's just going to take time.  We skype pretty regularly, but of course things often come up in either her schedule or mine, and distractions are rampant when we do get to skype. So far it's been a really good book made even more enjoyable by sharing it with my bestie in this manner. We're getting close to half way done and I'm pretty sure we're going to read another one after.  This is just too much fun ;)



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Monday, March 25, 2013

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

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Welcome to It’s Monday!  What Are You Reading!  This is a great way to plan out your reading week and see what others are currently reading as well… you never know where that next “must read” book will come from!

As part of this weekly meme, Shiela at Book Journey encourages others to visit participating memes, by offering a weekly contest for those who visit 10 or more of the Monday Meme participants and leave a comment telling her how many you visited.  **You do not have to have a blog to participate! You receive one entry for every 10 comments.  Just make sure to post on her blog and tell her how many in the comment area.
She offers a $5 Amazon gift card to the weeks winner.

Hi all! Ashley, here.  In the past this has been Britt's slot, but life tends to happen a little bit harder to her on Mondays than it does the rest of the week... go figure... I'm pretty sure most of us can relate to that.  So, I'm trading spots with her! She'll now be posting on Thursdays.  Make sure to check her out in her new time slot later in the week... in the mean time, I'm starting my inaugural Monday with a meme... yeah, yeah... I wanted to do something extra special too, but I've been on vacation for the past 11 days and didn't get in until after midnight last night.

Just this morning, I started Frost Burned (Mercy Thompson, Book 7) by Patricia Briggs on my drive in.  No worries, as bad a driver as I am, I'm not making it worse by ACTUALLY reading during the drive.  Instead, I'm listening to the audio version of the book via audible.  The narrator is Lorelei King.  I'm not certain whether she has narrated the other Mercy books as I have actually read all of those, but so far I'm enjoying her narration of this installment.






In addition to Frost Burned, I'm also picking at Destroy Me (Shatter Me 1.5) by Tahereh Mafi. It's a novella and I don't have a very good excuse for not having finished it yet.  The major reason is that I don't have much time for independent reading of actual text right now. My social calendar has been wild of late, but that may have to change due to financial considerations in the near future, so maybe I'll get some additional reading done.





Finally, I'm also reading Outlander (Outlander 1) by Diana Gabaldon with my bestie Jessa via skype sessions.  This is a new experience, but one I'm really enjoying.  Most of us have buddy read books before and I'm sure ALL of you fellow parents out there, especially those of you that bother to frequent blogs about books, read to your kids.  This is like that only combined.  Jessa and I are buddy reading the book to each other and O... M... G.... it is such a fun thing to do. We don't always get very far in the book, but oh the conversations that the readings spawn!

She loves it when I try to read in a Scottish accent and I love her running commentary on the events of the book (for her, this is a re-read of her favorite book and let me tell you, girl, you should see the light in her eyes when she reads about Jamie!). If you ever get a chance to read a book like this with one of us, I highly suggest you take it because we are soooooo funny.  Seriously, grab a friend and try some skype reading of your own... it's a great experience!

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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love is in the Air

Love is in the Air

Alright, so this is hardly an original idea, but it IS Valentine's Day after all.  So, I've composed my list of favorite couples from the genre of Urban Fantasy... I would include PnR, but for some reason, none of them made the list (nudge nudge, Kate... see what I did there?).

A warning to the spoiler uptight (like me) listing couples from a book or series is always a bit spoilerish.  Most of them are fairly obvious, but there are a some here that are more spoilerish than others, with the relationship developing late in the series or unexepectedly.

10) Lestat and... well... Lestat

Urban Fantasy? Okay, maybe not.  Usually, you'll find this classic series under horror, but to me it is definitely a forerunner to what these days is called Urban Fantasy.  If you haven't read the series I strongly recommend it, at least the first two books. Interview with the Vampire is a great book in it's own right, but it takes on a whole new dimension when paired with The Vampire Lestat. By the end of Interview, you'll hate Lestat like you've hated few literary characters. By the end of tVL, well... try it, you'll see.  As for the couple, Lestat is probably the only meglomaniac that I actually adore.

9) Sookie and Bill
Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris

Yeah, you read that right! Wanna make something of it? I'll be the first to agree that Eric of True Blood is way more yummy delicious, but as far as the books go, I think Bill was always the better match for Sookie. Yes, he f'ed up royally.  But he's spent every book since trying to get back into Sookie's good graces. I have little doubt BILL would do ANYTHING for Sookie.  Eric?  It really just depends on what's in it for him.  I can't remember his name right now, but with regard to the books, I'd choose the were-tiger for Sookie, before Eric.  Sorry, Rene and Sonnie, I call it like I READ it.

8) Elena and Raphael
Guild Hunter Series by Nalini Singh

Elena is one of those heroines you just love to read about.  In a world where most of her adviseraies over-match her, she still manages to come out on top thru her wit, fighting prowess and her decisiveness. Raphael is a male lead with tremendous gravitas.  Is he Barrons or Curran? No, but he is cut from the same cloth.  Together this is a fantastic power couple.  Besides, I like the pairings that clash with each other.  It makes for heightened romantic tension and energetic exchanges.


7) Kat and Bones
Night Huntress Series by Jeaniene Frost

Yeah, yeah.  A lot of you would rank this couple much higher than me.  The early books in the series were very good, but I think it has been less so of late.  That's neither here nor their really.  Kat is your typical ass kicking heroine and although Bones can rightly be considered a powerhouse, unlike Raphael above, he isn't cut from the same cloth as a Curran or Barrons, even tho I've seen a ton of ladies suggest that he is.  My problem is, when I read these books, the term "whipped" always jumps to mind when I read about Bones.  *Shrug* to each their own ;)

6) ?? and ??
Newsflesh Trilogy by Mira Grant

Last chance.  I withheld the names above in case you haven't read ALL of this series.  If you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading now or skip the rest of this entry. Still here? Fine. It's a little on the creepy side, but all the same Georgia and Shaun are fantastic together.  Some will pick up on the romantic overtones immediately.  Some will only see the familial relationship and overlook the more disturbing current that only becomes in your face in the third book.  Regardless, these two make a great pairing.

5) Toby and ??
October Daye Series by Seanan McGuire

You see the "??" right? You know what that means, don't you? You need to have read all of the series to date to avoid the spoiler.  You have been warned. Okay, I pretty much saw this coming from the beginning although Seanan sure tried to make it seem like it wouldn't go that way. Tibalt is da friggin' bomb yo diggity! Don't believe me? Ask Kate, she'll tell you. Cats friggin rock.  The king of cats? Forget about it. Tibalt is just the right about of billigerence tempered by total reliability. He's one kitty welcome to curl up on my lap anytime he feels like it.

4) Anna and Charles
Alpha and Omega Series by Patricia Briggs

Like I said, Kate, I confined this list to UF... deal with it ;) Anna is a very entrancing lead female.  It's hard to make a woman vulnerable in books without making her weak.  Anna is the perfect blend of fragile and assertive, you want someone to be protecting her while at the same time know that she'll manage to take care of herself regardless. Charles' armor is far from the shining variety, but he is a brute of a champion.  He loves Anna with a possessiveness reserved for Alphas and Doms without making you hate his overbearing nature. He can take care of me anytime ;)


3) Kori and Ian
Unbound Series by Rachel Vincent

I can't tell you how impressed I was with Kori in this book.  She's easily one of my all time favorite female leads.  She's gritty, tenacious, brilliant, and selfless. An absolute joy to read about.  Ian was a perfect compliment.  The chemistry these two had was fantastic and was an even better pairing than Liv and Cam in the first book. While I can't wait for book three, I'm really going to miss this particular pairing.  I hope they get a bigger cameo than Liv and Cam got in Shadow Bound.


2) Mac and Barrons
Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning

Whoop there it is! Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why isn't this number one? Well my friend it is a truly close call. This is a brilliantly conceived and amazingly executed story. You really have to treat the whole series as a single contiguous book.  The amount of growth Mac goes thru is staggering. It's rare to see so much change in a lead character, but the ride is well worth it.  Barrons is the quenticential alpha male. He's bad all the way thru in the best sort of way. The only time you'll think "whipped" with him is if he's brandishing one.  Yum!

1) Kate and Curran
Kate Daniels Series by Ilona Andrews

Did I say it was a close call for the top spot?  Well, it was, but in the end there's no beating the chemistry between Kate and Curran.  The WRITERS a husband and wife team that have dubbed themselves Ilona Andrews capture that magical quality everyone wants to experience in their own relationships.  The banter between these two love birds is uproarious good fun and Curran is every bit as Alpha as Barrons is only with a more honorable side. While Mac and Barron's relationship is dark and wild, Kate and Curran's is just flat out fun.


So there you have it, good reader, my top 10 urban fantasy couples.  Happy Valentine's day!

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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Plot Line Disappointments and
Things That Make You Say, "Oh, uh uh!"

So I’m listening to the latest Hollows book, Ever After, by Kim Harrison, when I had my latest "Oh, uh uh!" moment.

"What exactly is that, Ashley" you ask me with a quirk of your eyebrow.

Well, faithful blog follower, I’ll tell you.

That’s what I call a moment in a story where either the plot has taken a turn down Disappointment Lane or where the writer has done something I find remarkably boneheaded. In the case of Ever After, it was a bit of both, but more about Kim just acting the bonehead.

One of the quickest things a writer can do to make me say, "Oh, uh uh!" is to relate a major (or simply ground shaking) event without actually presenting it. You know the old adage, show me don’t tell me? This is generally sound advice.

I don’t want to spoil anything literary, so I’ll use the television series Charmed as an example. One of the original cast members was Shannen Doherty. She played Prue, one of the charmed sisters, for three seasons. When the fouth season begins however, Prue is just gone. They introduced Paige, a half-sister played by Rose McGowan, to fill the glaring hole.

Now if you are familiar with Charmed then you see the problem, I’m talking about. If you aren’t let me just explain that the series is about three sisters who discover they are witches. They fulfill a prophesy of the "charmed ones," the most powerful witches ever born. The series details their battles with the forces of evil keeping the world safe from demon invasion and other nasties of the sort... more or less... it’s been a while.
At any rate, Prue was one of those three sisters, and therefore a key character in the story. Prue apparently died.

"How’d she die?" you ask.

Good question. I don’t rightly remember, because it was NEVER SHOWN TO US. We get a strange one liner dropped about her death and the first episode of Season Four continues on establishing Paige as the replacement sister.

Now in TV land I understand why something like that happens, but in a novel?

When something big happens in a book, I don’t want to hear about it second hand and after the fact from another character. I want a front row seat. Prue spent three seasons kicking ass along side her sisters. She was a bad ass. Whatever took her down had to have been some amazing stuff, and as someone who had become emotionally invested in the trials and tribulations of her character I didn’t get the closure I needed from her departure.

I see stuff like this happen in books far more often than I care for. Plans are made and we don’t get to see the execution, only a report that the attempt failed or succeeded; the plot involves a war or rebellion that seems hopeless and all of the sudden the rebels have taken all the cities except the last one; and of course, someone of importance dies or otherwise leaves the series and all we get is a "they were here and now they aren’t." There are countless other examples, but you get the picture.

Plot disappointments are a little different, although they also sometimes result in "Oh, uh uh" moments for me. The difference generally being, that I sometimes feel guilty about my reaction. I’ve read countless books where the plot began so brilliantly and yet the writer decides to take the story down a different, often less interesting and sometimes just flipping ridiculous, road.

These are harder for me because it’s not my story and I want to respect the writer’s individual creative drive. I feel guilty saying the story sucked just because I personally didn’t care for where the writer went in the end. So much so, that I generally DON’T say it. I just think it VERY LOUDLY to myself.

If the story’s well written and logically consistent, I might rate it higher than I really felt about it owing to the fact that just because I didn’t like the direction the writer took doesn’t mean someone else won’t. That being said if the plot disappointment is of the flipping ridiculous variety, then I’ll probably tell you about it ad nauseam.

So what about, y’all? Do you feel guilty for not liking a book when it’s about a reasonable plot choice? How about "Oh, uh uh’s" is anyone else out there feeling me? I’d love to ask some of yours, but... spoilers... ya know.

Still, without saying what, here are a few books that have caused me one or more "Oh, uh uh" moments. Note that the fact that these books caused them in me doesn’t necessarily mean I hated the book... although for some...

Ever After (Obviously)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Mockingjay
A Storm of Swords
Bloodrose
Drink Deep
House of Night <– This series is full of them, I have no idea why I keep reading it.

I promise there are others, but I’m going to stop before my frustration level maxes out. Cheers!


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Thursday, January 17, 2013

GReeps Through The Shelves: Episode I: What the ?!?

So in addition to my Tongue-in-Cheek Reviews, this is the second semi regular feature I envision for my Thursdays.  Don't ask me how often, I don't know.

The idea is to write a story using our contributors as the main characters. The story will primarily take place in the GReepsville Public Library where our heroines work as Librarians.  It will be a series of vignettes each more or less self contained.  It's mostly silly stuff, but I hope it'll warrant a chuckle from time to time.

The impetus for most of the stories will be odd, library related pictures I find on the Internet. If, in your Internet wanderings you find a picture you think you would like me to build a story around... place a URL to the picture in the comments below.  If I like it and can come up with somthing for it, YOUR picture will take center stage!

At some point I am planning to set up some form of metaplot at which point the series will become somewhat of a mystery / who dun it.

So without any further adieu...
******
A long time ago, in a library far far away...

Dramatic orchestral music blares into existence.  As the blue glowing sentence fades to black, it is  replaced by the title written in an outlined semi blocky script

GReeps Through the Shelves
Episode I: What the ?!?

The title shot, at once large slides backwards into the far reaches of space.  As it disappears, text begins to scroll across the screen.

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Oblivious to the greater happenings in the galaxy at large, a rag tag band of librarians struggle in a conflict of their own to bring piece and tranquility to the stacks. Custodians of the card catalogue that can help the people of Greepsville find what they want to read and restore order to the bookshelves...

As the crawl completes it’s journey into inky blackness, the camera pans down revealing the glowing blue orb of earth.  Quick zoom through the atmosphere sliding in until we see the continent then the town of Greepsville, thru the roof of the Greepsville public library finally focusing on Ashley sitting behind a computer at the circulation desk.

Kate enters through the sliding glass doors of the library entrance, passes through the anti-theft scanners, and walks up to Ashley.

Kate: What’s the word, Chica?

Ashley’s mouth quirks into a smile.  She continues to stare at the monitor and type

Ashley:  Don’t let Jen hear you ask that question.

Kate: Gah! ASH!! Now it’s friggin’ stuck in my head... Thank you, very much!

Ashley: What? It’s not like I started singing it.

Krista leaving the office behind the circulation desk comes to stand behind Ashley

Krista: Singing what?

Kate: Don’t you dare, Ash...

A maniacal look crosses Ashley’s face as she stops typing and looks into Kate’s eyes.

Kate: I mean it, Ashley, don’t yo-

Ashley pushes away from the desk. As the chair rolls away she begins singing

Ashley: Bird bird bird, the bird is the word!
             Bird bird bird, the bird is the word! Yeah!
             Well everybody's heard, about the bird!

Krista [laughing]: I had to ask...

Kate: Damn you Ashley... now I’ll NEVER get it out.

At that moment, Sonnie comes racing to the counter from behind the shelves of the Science Fiction seciton

Sonnie [to loudly]: No. F’ing. Way!!

Library patrons hiss at her to keep it down.

Krista: What?!

Sonnie [urgently whispering]: I just saw a frigging JAWA over in Science Fiction

Kate: Get out!

Sonnie: No, seriously! Glowing eyes and everything!

Krista: You saw a REAL jawa?

Ashley: Like from Tatooine?

Sonnie: F’ing right!

Kate’s eyes become large and glassy. The smile on her face is like a kid’s at Christmas as she bolts back in the direction Sonnie came from.  Sonnie, Ashley and Krista follow.

As they round a shelf in science fiction, a storm trooper sitting at a computer terminal comes into view.

Storm Trooper One: The Death Star plans are not in the main computer!

Kate: NO WAY!

By the shelves, two more storm troopers and a Jawa are going through the books on the she shelf. At Kate’s outburst, the one kneeling on the floor rises, book dangling from his left hand, blast in his right raised toward Kate




Ashley: Erm... Kate... maybe we should just take a step back... ya know? Nothing to see here.

Storm Trooper Two [draws blaster threateningly]: How long have you had these books?

Sonnie: Ummm... Two or three seasons?

Sonnie [continuing excitedly]: They’re up for sale if you want them!

Storm Trooper Two: We’re going to need to see some identification.

Kate [Laughing, waves her hand in front of the storm trooper’s face]: You don’t need to see her identification, these aren’t the books you’re looking for.

The other two storm troopers draw their blasters and advance toward Kate.

Ashley: Yeah... see, that wasn’t a very good idea, Kate... what’s with all the hand waving anyway, you think you’re some kind of Jedi or something?!

Kate: Well, it worked in the Movie! They’re just costumes anyway.

A storm trooper points his blaster at the chair by the computer terminal and blasts it.  The Chair melts into so much slag.

Ashley: Wow... that looked pretty real, Kate.

Krista: Hey! You can’t run around blasting Library property without a care in the world!  Who do you think has to pay for that! The tax payers, that’s who! I bet the Empire collects a hefty chunk of change out of your salary too, doesn’t it! You trying to get them to raise taxes or something?! I guess you like working for PEANUTS. You should be ashamed of yourself.

The storm trooper hangs his head dejectedly

Krista [gesturing at the remaining two storm troopers]: AND YOU! Don’t you realize who we are?  We’re LIBRARIANS that’s who!  You can’t be tearing up our shelves, threatening patrons and staff, and destroying the furniture in some willy nilly quest for the Death Star plans! This is a Library and order MUST be maintained!

Storm Trooper Three: We... we’re sorry, ma’am... hor...horribly rude of us.

The jawa titters, Krista shoots him a stern look and he quickly falls silent. Ashley, Kate, and Sonnie stand there gaping at Krista

Krista: If you can’t find these plans you’re looking for did it even occur to you to ASK one of us... we ARE reference librarians, don’t you know?!

The storm troopers kick the ground and sway from side to side looking down in a dejected fashion

Krista: Now.  Kate, I believe your shift was just starting? Take these fine storm troopers up to the front, and see if you can find them what they’re looking for in the card catalogue, please?

Kate: Uh... yeah... sure, Krista.

Kate leads the trio of storm troopers and the jawa back to the circulation desk and sits behind the computer.

Ashley [watching the retreating storm troopers]: OMG, Krista that was da bomb yo diggity.

Krista: Yeah, storm troopers are just clones of Jango Fett’s they’ve had no real upbringing to speak of.  I had a hunch they’d respect parentalesque authority!

Ashley [laughing]: Only you would have thought of that... well, maybe, M, would have... but I mean really... that rocked.

Sonnie: Let’s go up to the desk and make sure everything’s all good with Kate.

Krista: Good idea.

Back at the circulation desk...

Kate: Let’s see... Death Star Plans... hmm... Death Star Plans

Storm Trooper One: I already looked, they aren’t in the main computer.

Kate: Let the master librarian work, okay?!

Kate begins humming "Bird is the word" under her breath...

Kate: Ah! Here we go.

Storm Trooper One: NO WAY!

Kate: Way! Star Wars: Death Star Technical Companion by Bill Slavicsek. That’s in Gaming SLA 301

Sonnie: I’ll get it!

Storm Trooper Three: This is so great... Wait til we get this back to Vader... We are going to be soooooo set.

Storm Trooper Two: I know right?! And the rest of the squad is on that stupid desert planet roasting away under two suns!!

Sonnie comes running back, book in hand

Kate: I don’t suppose any of you have a library card do you?

Fin


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Thursday, January 3, 2013

A Tongue In Cheek Review: Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

Okay, so I'm cheating here.  I'm sure all of my GReeps have seen this already, but we are reaching a broader audience than I was writing to when I originally put this out there, so it will be new to at least some of you.

So why am I republishing it instead of writing original content?  Well, cuz I'm a bit of a procrastinator and I got behind of course, but that isn't the only reason.  I'm going to make this my inaugural post of a semi regular feature I'm calling "Tongue-In-Cheek Reviews."  The point of the re-post is to show you what exactly that is.

See, the idea is that on some irregular time line, known only to me, I'll write a review of a fairly well known book.  Only it's a review with a twist.  Actually it's not a real review at all.  It's a review that I'll be writing in a style of y'all's choosing, unless of course I don't get any suggestions or I just feel like picking my own.  Feeling confused?

Read on and enjoy, you'll get the idea. In the comments please leave a suggestion for a style or character you would like me to use and the book you'd like me to review.

* * * * * * * * * *
Warning! This was written for shear entertainment value, views expressed may not be the actual views of the writer. If you have not read the Twilight books or seen the movies, you may not want to continue as I've made no attempt to hide spoilers. You have been warned!!
-Ashley
* * * * * * * * * *

So like, I don't know... a few years ago, I read this book. I think it was called, um, like "Sunset" or "Night Time" or "It's Getting Dark Outside"... something like that. Oh c'mon, seriously!... it had that tre hawt vampire dude and that totally emo gurl in it! Um, and, like, that wolf boy too, only like, we didn't find out he was like, a wolf boy until, you know, like the second book or whatever. Ya know, um, like the book with the totally trippendicular apple on the cover.

That book was, like, totally rad, but like, I'm so suuure, a piece of fruit? Seriously?! I totally don't get it. Is it, like, supposed to make me hungry or somethin? I don't know, maybe it's, like, some stupid metaphorical crap, you know, like forbidden fruit. Which is, like, way so weird cuz, um, like, my mom... she never told me I couldn't, like, ya know, eat an apple if I wanted to sooo... Well, there was this one time, where, like, the apples were, um, like, all moldy and stuff, and mom was like, don't eat those, and I was like, "Gah! Ma-uuum, totally, gag me with a spoon! Yeah, like I'm gonna eat one of those. Duh!" ANYway, passion fruit... Like, that would so totally make more sense, but what-ever.

So like, emo gurl, is, um, like, from Arizona, only like her mom is totally in luv with this baseball guy and like, so emo gurl, decides to go live with her dad in, um, this town called Forks. It rains there, like, all the time, so that's where the way crucial vampires go, cuz ya know, sparkly skin in the sunlight and all, hellooo. So emo gurl starts school and all the primo guys are totally like, "she's totally awesome," but she's like, "gag me, boy toys, I'm all about hawt vampire dude," only she doesn't know he's, um, like, a vampire, yet. So, yeah, it's like that.

Anyway, like, this Stephenie chick... she's not like, ya know, the most fantabulous writer ever, but she's, like, way so easy to read, and her books are, like totally, fun. Like, totally... Um, except for like that lame-o shopping scene. I mean like, duh, prom dress shopping, and all emo gurl can think about is some stupid book? As if! Like, what a betch. Her friends are like totally in the middle of a fashion crisis, and like she just wants to go to a book store? Really?! Um, like, if one of my chickadees, like totally bailed on me, there would be, like, soooo much trouble.

Like this one time, um, me and my bestie, Brittney were like, ya know, out shopping with Megan (gag me) and like Brittney found this trippin pair of Jimmy Choos, but like, they totally clashed with her new Louis Vuitton, and I was like, "Oh my gawd, you like totally have to get them anyway, they'll be mag with your Dolce," and Brittney was like, "yeah, but I can't carry my Dolce when I'm, like, wearing that Christian Dior," and I was like, "duh! that would be totally grody," and I'm like looking at Megan, who's totally burried in her cell, and I'm like, "Megan, helloooo! some help here, what do you think?" and Megan was like, "Oh my gawd, my mom just texted me that my dad was in a car crash, I gotta go!" And then she, like... left. What-ever... Betch!

Gah, so frustrating... anyway, like, what was I sayin?... Oh, yeah! Um, Chica writes tasty man candy, yum! Totally hawt vampire dude, ftw. Um, there is NO way I play for team furball, Duh! Men are totally dawg-like enough without, ya know, shedding everywhere. Like, do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get dawg fur off of chiffon?! Barf me out!

So, um, I'm, like, readin this book and, like, there's this one part, where, like, hawt vampire dude is totally like sneakin into emo gurl's room at night and, like, ya know, um, watchin her, like sleep and stuff. And I'm kinda like, oh my gawd, that is so, um, ya know, like creepy. But then, I'm like, fer sure, betch, he's like totally a vampire, and he's soooooo hawt, so it's, like, all good and stuff... and um even tho, he like totally wants to, like, ya know, bite her and suck her blood, he like, totally loves her and stuff. So then, I was like, awwwe, that's like, soooo sweet. Seriously! Like, where can I get me some vampire lovin'?

Okay! So like there ya go! In summary, totally stay away from, like, moldy apples (bleh, grody to the max), shopping rules- bookstores drool (as if), duh! wolf hair is not a fashion accessory (I'm so sure), and creepy guys should, like totally stay out of the bedroom unless they are totally hawt vampire dudes (seriously!). I love Twilight, it's, like, soooo relevant!

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Thursday, November 29, 2012

WRITING CONVINCING CHARACTERS- A GENDER COMPARISON

DANGER Will Robinson!
If you haven't read the Dresden Files, the Twilight books, and The Wolves of Mercy Falls series it is entirely possible you might read something in this post that you may not want to know.

On the other hand, it is not my intent, in this particular piece, to discuss specific story elements. It's more of a commentary on style and technique used to convey gender in fiction. As a result, I will be providing examples from the books to illustrate my points. How much this will give away, I'm not sure, as I'm writing this on the fly, but you have been warned.

Males and Females and Hermaphrodites. Oh My!
Something else I need to get out before going forward. The examples I've chosen (Harry, Bella, and Sam) resonate with me specifically and may not be the best examples you would put forward, but these were the first to pop into my head when I started thinking about the subject.

I chose Harry Dresden to represent the male perspective, because the things he thinks, along with the thought process that goes with it, feel male (masculine is the proper word here, but it also insinuates a certain degree of macho-ness that I'm not talking about, I may use female as opposed to feminine for similar reasons). This shouldn't be too surprising as Jim Butcher is also male. What makes Harry such a great example here is that there are so many things to point at for illustration.

Similarly I chose Bella to represent the female perspective because she also capture the essence of her respective gender. Please, don't flood me with comments about the strength or weakness of Bella as a female character. This commentary (essay?) is not about whether Bella is the ideal female role model or not. I recognize that there are women out there that hate her and consider her an affront to the feminist movement. But affront or no, Bella IS a girl and she felt like one to me (a ton of us, of all ages, related to her as is evidenced by the phenomenon that is Twilight).

In contrast to Bella and Harry, I've selected Sam Roth. In fact, it is Sam that made me think about writing this piece. Sam is NOT an hermaphrodite as the title of this section might imply, but Maggie Stiefvater has done a poor job of making Sam feel male. It is perhaps appropriate then that she named him "Sam" which can be either gender (I've never met or even heard of a male named Bella nor a female named Harry). What a perfect seguay... I promise it unplanned ; )

A Rose By Any Other Name?
Does it matter what an author names her characters? Generally speaking, the answer is probly (<--- pay attention this spelling becomes relevant later) not. But we all have names we don't particularly care for, and I imagine most of us have run across a character with one of those names in a book we've read. My question is (if this has happend to you), how did you feel about that character? Have you found it more difficult to relate to the character (at least initially)?
My example would be Delia Peabody from Nora Roberts' In Death series. Can't stand that name. I find "Delia" simply strange, but "Peabody"? Way too cheesy, and perhaps stereotypical, for my taste. It's a sidekick name if ever I heard one (never mind that Peabody IS Eve's sidekick), and cartoonish at that. I've never been able to take her as seriously as I might have had I not brought my own preconcieved notions of the name to the table. Sadly, her name reduced the character to a caricature for me. Over the course of 30+ books, I've grown to love Peabody (alright, it didn't take that many to love the character) but the name STILL grates on me and I definitely resisted her for a while. I keep hoping she'll mary McNabb and take his name.

"Are you coming to a point anytime soon," you beg me? Quit whining, here it is. Words (like masculine/feminine above) and names carry with them connotations to those that hear... errr... read them. When you meet a character named Bella, you expect a girl, when you meet a character named Harry, you expect a wiz... err... a boy, and when you meet a character named Sam, you expect... Well, that depends on who you are doesn't it? If your girlfriend or wife's name is Samantha, maybe that's a girl, if your boyfriend or husband's name (brother-in-law in my case) is Samuel, maybe that's a boy. Hell, maybe you've had limited exposure to the name, and you have no idea what to think when you read "Sam".

No scientific evidence here, but I believe our expectations probably (<---- see what Ii did there?... used the proper spelling to lend myself more credibility... connotation matters) continue to influence us even after we learn better (see my discussion of Peabody above). Do I think writers should stick to gender specific names (particularly when they are writing the opposite sex)? Not really (Stephenie herself used Sam Uley as a character name, but then again, she didn't try to put us inside his head).

I DO think they should be conscious of it, especially if they are writing the other gender. The more an author can control her readers' expectations, the easier it is for her to lead them down the path she wants them to go. Combining an ambiguous name with ambiguous traits or behaviors stereotypically assigned to the opposite gender is begging people to criticize your characterization. Not judgin’, Maggie, just sayin’

Atashi vs. Watashi vs. Boku
"Huh?!?" you say (not you, Akira Kurosawa, I know you get it).
I presume most of you reading this don't speak Japanese (I don't either... anymore). Spanish would have been better, because I know it has something similar and more people in America speak it than Japanese, but I don't have viable examples, so you'll take what I give you and like it!

Japanese language has gender. So a Japanese girl might say, "Atashi no namae wa, Samu desu," if she wanted to say, "My name is, Sam."

A boy might say, "Boku no namae wa, Samu desu."

Either of them might say "Watashi no namae wa, Samu desu."

It is understood that if a boy is using "atashi" in reference to himself, then he is doing so in an effeminate manner. English words don't specifically have gender, but there are things (in any language) that are just more likely to come from one gender than the other.

For instance, in Twilight (Chapter 8, p.171), Bella says, " You’re always crabbier when your eyes are black — I expect it then."

First off this is an observation that a male is not likely to catch to begin with. Secondly, "crabbier"? Yeah... not so much.

A guy's much more likely to say something like, "Why so bitchy? You on your period or something?" Note that even if the guy lives with the woman, he probly (<--- a clue not to take me quite as seriously, although I am making a valid point) has to ask if she's on her period because guys don't usually pay enough attention to know when it's happening despite the fact that it's a monthly occurrence... black eyes = crabby?... not a chance. Thus the quoted statement is gender appropriate for Bella to make.

Want another example? Again in Twilight (Chapter 10, p.204), Bella says, "I can’t explain it right… but he’s even more unbelievable behind the face." I imagine this one doesn't require much exposition.

1) guys don't generally talk to each other about their love interests this way; and

2) when they do, it's generally about her actions (she's alot of fun at parties... she can drink like a fish... the girl can cook), not what is going on "behind the face".

Again, Bella's statement is very much in line with her gender.

Harry Dresden? You mean when he's not quoting a Star Wars or comic book character? Wow... that might be hard to find. Let's see...

"Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, ‘Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original.’

Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy." (Changes by Jim Butcher)

Okay, so he’s making a Star Wars reference rather than quoting a character, I told you it was a tall order didn’t I?

This is another illustration of making the character feel like its gender. By using cultural references predominantly associated with the character’s sex, we see what we expect to see in the character’s likes and dislikes.

Yes Kate, I understand. Girls can like Star Wars too. Most of us GReeps are big fans (and geeks) and can quote you chapter and verse, but let’s not get distracted here. Star Wars, GENERALLY appeals to geeky girls, and less so to the general female population, while it is much more universally celebrated among the male population, whether geeky or not!

Let’s take a more subtle look at how what Harry said conveys gender. Can you imagine the same thing being said by Bella only in reference to her original edition Magic Mike poster? No, not so much. And why? Because men tend to speak and think in terms of objects and actions, while girls tend to speak and think in terms of ideas and feelings.
 
So what’s wrong with Sam? Well try this one on for size.

"I was not a wolf, but I wasn’t Sam yet, either. I was a leaking womb bulging with the promise of conscious thoughts…" (Shiver pg 63, Maggie Stiefvater)

Excuse me. Did Sam just refer to hersel- errr... I mean... himself as a "leaking womb"? I don’t think anymore exposition is required on that one.

Here’s another one, only not as overt.

"I thought to myself, A life is measured by moments like these. Grace leaned her head back, neck long and pale against my shoulder, to reach my mouth for a kiss, and just before I gave her one, I saw Isabel’s wistful eyes watching my mouth touch Grace’s." (Shiver, Maggie Stiefvater)

Didn’t I already mention how guys aren’t so attentive when it comes to eyes? Certainly in a sexually charged moment like that one (you’ll have to trust me, there was dancing in the kitchen to Mariah Carey... flour was involved... it was sensual). I’m betting the last thing a boy is thinking at that moment is the "wistful" look in another girl’s eyes... They don’t multitask that well, particularly not once... errrr... other male parts?!... are engaged.

But it’s not just the dialogue that creates gender confusion when we’re dealing with Sam. He’s unusually sensitive, has a fixation for poetry, and writes ghastly love laden laments in his spare time. Not exactly the paradigm of masculinity.

I’m not sayin’ there aren’t effeminate hetero guys out there... I’m just sayin’ when a woman decides to put us in the headspace of a male character, she probably should give him a few more masculine traits and mannerism if she wants to sell it.

On Prom’s and Existentialism
Just for grins, I give you a conversation between Harry and Bella (oh! and Sam for flavor):

Bella: "He’s telling everyone that he’s taking me to prom — either he’s insane or he’s still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well, you remember it, and he thinks prom is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we’re even, and he can’t keep trying to make amends. (Twilight, Chapter 8, p.163) (Classic female logic!)

Harry: "What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" (White Night) (Typically, non-responsive male comment)

Bella: "In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? (Twilight, Epilogue, p.495) (The woman playing along)

Harry: "There are things you can't walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward." (Death Masks) (Drama much?! Maybe you ARE a girl, Dresden :P)

Bella: "I’ll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships. But it just seems logical… a man and woman have to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can’t always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally. (Twilight, Chapter 24, p.473)(Says the girl perpetually in need of saving)

Harry: "Caring about someone isn't complicated. It isn't easy. But it isn't complicated, either. Kinda like lifting the engine block out of a car." (Small Favor)(There’s a particularly useful, metaphor, Dresden... know your audience, hun)

Bella: "I don’t speak Car and Driver." (Twilight, Chapter 11, p.223) (You tell him, girl!)

Sam: "I fell for her in summer, my lovely summer girl
From summer she is made, my lovely summer girl
I’d love to spend a winter with my lovely summer girl
But I’m never warm enough for my lovely summer girl
It’s summer when she smiles, I’m laughing like a child
It’s the summer of our lives; we’ll contain it for a while
She holds the heat, the breeze of summer in the circle of her hand
I’d be happy with this summer if it’s all we ever had. (Shiver)(Riiiiight, thanks for that, Sam.)

Bella and Dresden together: "SHUT UP, SAM!!" (Ashley, GRTtS)

In Closing...
What do you think? Are you feeling me?  Anyone out there have more to add or a particularly well or poorly written, gender related character? Did I bore you?

Sorry for being long winded... Sometimes I can't help myself ;)

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